Oh my Crush!?

            Supposedly, we should have already post our second entry before the periodical exam, but most of us wasn't able to catch up with the deadline (including me). So our teacher moved it as one of our project for the second quarter. That means?!! I have much more time to think! Our mind might just change course you know ( naks!! twilight? ), I mean, the feelings might change right? As we always say “every moment counts" (or maybe that's just me?) well, it had just happened to me. The day that my teacher told us that this will be the 2nd entry, I immediately thought of sweet things or words to describe my crush. Like handsome, smart (though he's not...), athletic (which is very true), and etc. Well, that thought made me wanna work on the 2nd entry fast. Until the day came that I was workin' on my 2nd entry with my facebook account open.

              I was workin on it. Let’s say, workin on it-"INSPIRED". It's because I was in a good mood and he was so good to me that day. And then this other guy came. On facebook!!! Well, I've got to be honest; he's very far from my crush. I mean, very OPPOSITE. He’s not handsome (I won’t say ugly. that would be very harsh), he's smart I guess? Because he's pretty good in speaking in English and he's NOT athletic. He’s very invisible. Even me, I didn’t notice him.( oh! by the way, I’ll give them code names. crush- *handyman* and other guy *invisible*). *Hahaha!! So creepy! I'm sorry, I'm not so good with these things*. Though "invisible" haven't got what most girls look for in a boy, there's still something about him that makes you like him. I thought he's a bad person. But someone told me things about him and it made me think that he's good. He’s a quite type of guy that has no interest or wanting to be known. He’s like a "go on! Criticize me!, I don’t care. I’m just living my life, don’t bother me" type of guy. He doesn’t care. But that doesn’t mean that he's heartless! He just don’t know how to express it. He’s always hiding behind his friend’s shadow. Well, so much for him, let's go back to "handyman". He’s a very courageous person. He’s sporty though he has this hobby To#Oot!! (I won’t mention it because it would be very obvious and my friends will know.) His attitude that made me lose my courage is that...is..uhmm.. .he's..... Is that he's like a GAY!! There! I said it! Especially when it comes to speaking. He's not so smart and wise. I only liked him because his a little bit handsome. And just this 1st week of September, I found out that I was so wrong about what I thought of invisible. He’s just the same with handyman when it comes to studies. He's so bad in English. awwwhh!! Huhuhu!!! What a shame.

                   These "negative" things made me realize that they are no good. And I won’t waste my time for them if that’s the case. And I hate myself because of that. I felt stupid. I was bombarded for a WEEK!!!! Keep on wondering why I ever had a feeling for them. GOSH!!! But then who am I to judge them right?! I’m not even smart, beautiful, kind and as a matter of fact I’m lazy at home! So, that just makes me one of them. I’ve been criticizing them like I was too perfect to be criticized! And I felt bad for that. It made me want to ask forgiveness to them. Having these realizations about my crush, it made me also realize how I looked at them so low. Made me realize that what I’ve been thinking, doing, saying and acting was so bad that if only they knew about these, they would really get hurt. And I don’t want to hurt them. So from now on, I’ll try to change and always look on the good side of every person I socialize with. Help them if I can help them improve their bad side. Not just stand there and criticize.

P.S. To those who already had the hint of who my crushes are, just keep quite please?!!! Hahaha!!

Until next time!!     XoXo!

-- JoYniE --